Today makes one month since we buried my grandmother. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Yes, she’d been sick. Yes, I was tired of her suffering. Yes, I know she’s in a better place. I was prepared but I wasn’t ready. Watching her pass away will be forever embedded in my mind. The disbelief of what I witnessed. Watching but only a silent witness. Having to feel the chill come across her body because my spirit truly wanted to believe she had more days than the time that was left. How does goodbye always come so many moments too soon? Why is forever permanent? Where is home when the one it resided within is gone?
I’m wondering if Heaven can wait Just a few… Another minute of another hour of another day Too many questions left unanswered Hugs yet to be given I can’t remember those instructions Unwritten recipes Something about boiling pennies in water Crooked arms and bowling Scrabble games waiting I need Jesus on the mainline Just. One. More. Time. One call One conversation One hug 3 words I love you X’s 2 Don’t Go Holding on to memories of you within my mind No longer in the same place Thoughts are all I have left Trying to let go and let God Neither seems to be working It’s a sad day in Jerusalem The church is weeping No sleeping No peace to be still The storms of life are raging and I can’t find no place to go I be Jacob, garments torn and covered in sackcloth David on the threshing floor Past a season and time to be born and to die Eyes upon Jesus Cheerful of face but full of sorrow in heart Weeping endures for more than a night Calling steadfast to HE that is within me Needing an ever-present help Seeking refuge Oh Shirley, “I Remember Mama” There was a leak in her building and her soul had to move